Ok... hang on... let me check...
This is strange... I'm not sure how to respond to this... I don't know what to say...
I can't see anything about to slam into me at the moment...
Sssshhhhh... Keep this under your hat
Things are actually going well. (Pause for explosion.)
Ok before I float away on a cloud of euphoria I need to remember to grab my parachute.
Ten days until TLOML arrives from her tropical paradise, jetting into Sydney specially to see MOI!!! My mother always chastised me for wishing my life away when I said things like "I can't WAIT until she gets here!" But it feels like an eternity. Today I didn't have any appointments or any demands or plans so I have just hung out and done some reading and had a long bath.
On the health front I am actually feeling pretty good. My arms are still a little weak and the vertigo is still hanging around so I'm wobbly but pain is the most manageable it has been for a good few months.
You know how when you take your car to the mechanic and say "It makes a grinding sound every time I turn left" and the mechanic does a test drive and it won't make the noise? I suspect that might be going to happen to me on Wednesday. I will be off to the pain clinic with less pain than I have experienced in MONTHS!
Why can't they give people pills full of endorphins? Well I guess it is just a form of self created morphine. I'm sure that's what is making the difference. Talk about a drug of choice! It's interesting in all of the fitness training I did when I was younger (including going all the way through the boot camp at the Police Academy for 4 and 1/2 months) I NEVER once had an endorphin high! I have read that people with Fibromyalgia don't experience that, or was it the bloke in the video, the one from Stanford? Oh well somewhere in the last week or so I have read that FMS endurers don't get the "runners high"... THANK the Goddess/Universe/Herbert that I can get an endorphin high from falling in love!!!
I can't say I feel strong but I am experiencing less pain. I'm toying with the idea of doing something to sabotage myself before Wednesday so that I turn up there feeling as crappy as I normally do. Maybe a game of golf tomorrow if the weather clears? That knocked me out for a week last time I tried it! Ok I'm half kidding. I really am very grateful that I'm feeling OK at the moment. I've lost about 10 lbs in the last three weeks though it feels like more. When I moved back to Oz from the US I didn't bring all the smaller sized jeans that didn't fit me, I figured it was silly carrying things I couldn't wear. Now I really wish I had brought them 'cause I am stuck with all my big jeans. I think a little shopping expedition might be in order tomorrow though I would have to get a great deal cause I am trying not to spend money too. So many competing priorities, as per usual.
Please address all correspondence care of Cloud 9.
Falling in love is one the best feelings in the universe! I haven't given birth so I can't think what it's like to hold your newborn in your arms which I imagine is up there with falling In love. But I've fallen in love a few times and oh boy! That amazing feeling, the senseless, inane, stupid grin you wear every time you think of the one you love. It's the best - the world is beautiful, anything bad is bearable, it's so EXCITING! Yes, it's an endorphin high for sure. So glad that your pain is taking a back seat and that love is keeping it as bad.
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