I don't think I have ever laughed more than I have laughed in the last couple of weeks.
Most of the things TLOML and I laugh about are too silly to describe... I could say "you had to be there" but even that was not enough for the poor girl sharing the row with us on the plane. Last night, taking my nightly meds, we were giggling, as we so often do, when TLOML pointed out that I was laughing too much to take my antidepressants! If laughter is the best medicine I can probably cease all other treatment!
One of the really strange things that has happened to me, since this wonderful falling in love experience began, is that I have become incredibly talkative... a real chatterbox. Anyone who knew me as a kid will not be at all surprised because I was quite hyper-communicative as a kid... I laughed a LOT, smiled a LOT and got the gabbles with monotonous regularity. My mouth was constantly struggling to keep up with my brain.
I wrote in a blog a few months ago that vim and vigour had vamoosed and that being in pain and somewhat fatigued all the time had removed my "live wire" personality. Well no sooner do I write the words than this miracle comes into my life and makes me a liar! Suddenly I am animated again, enthusiastic and effervescent; suddenly I am busting to talk about everything and to tell my stories... I have again developed verbal diarrhea! Just like the old days!
TLOML and I are quite alike in many ways (aside from sharing the same unusual name) we are both lively and excitable, talkative and giggly, thank Herbert we both love those qualities in each other as well. Back when we were at school together (over three decades ago) we used to get into trouble for talking and giggling together and not much has changed.
But everything had changed... I had lost that zest for life, that certain joie de vivre that had been such a hallmark of my childhood and early adulthood. I think I had become grumpy and even at times perhaps ... morose... (eep that is hard to admit). I'm trying not to be too hard on myself about this because it really was situational... I have been through some very difficult times and suffered some gut-wrenching losses. On top of that my vitality, which was such a part of my very identity, had flickered to a barely discernible glimmer.
My mother (my oft quoted mother whose death was one of those gut-wrenching losses) always said it was "darkest before the dawn". In this case she was so SO right. Things were pretty grim.
Well not any more!
I am still hurting. I still NEED to be horizontal. I still get tired far too quickly. My balance is still crappy. But things have changed in so many ways and for the better. When I'm hurting TLOML asks me what I need and how she can help. When I need to be horizontal I often have company and laughter. When I am tired I am soothed and spoiled and brought cups of tea and loved and cared for. When I stumble or lose my balance TLOML is there to hold my hand and steady me.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am the luckiest woman on earth, not only for the love and care I receive, but for the laughter and chatter that fill our days and envelop us in a giant bubble of happiness.
In spite of this nasty condition my old talkative self is back with a vengeance!