Tuesday, 25 October 2011

I hope the light at the end of the tunnel isn't a train.

I can blog lying down.  (No doubt why I post so frequently)
Remembering my addiction to being horizontal I well might ask... 
What else can I do lying down? (Keep your minds out of the gutter!)

Ok let me dial this back a bit to put it in perspective.  Things have not been going well in my life for the last five years or so.  Here is a snapshot - [warning - skip the dot points if you are not in the mood for a dirge and advance to the part that comes after - I won't mind - I would too]

2006 - Life was pretty good...
  • In business with my partner doing well
  • Wrote a business book had it published
  • Making a name as a speaker/presenter (making money doing that too)
  • In a slightly volatile but very productive relationship
  • Living in own home with partner and son
  • Traveling the world
  • Owning 4 rental units that were rapidly appreciating in value
  • Experiencing chronic pain but 95% of the time quite manageable/tolerable 
Mid way through 2006 my partner and I broke up and the business was dissolved.  My son and I moved into one of the rentals and attempts to develop a new business alone achieved very limited success - the economy was starting to slide right about then...

  • Moved to a different state
  • Began a relationship which became physically abusive
  • Working in a fun job for really lousy money
  • Sued by ex who had access to hot and cold running lawyer and lost everything (long story)
  • Dropped all the balls - couldn't spin any more plates - pain increasing
  • Dead broke
  • Abusive relationship gets pretty bad
  • My mother (who I was very close to) died - sad trip home to Australia
  • Relationship gets scary - I get out but I am being stalked
  • Pain increasing
  • Still dead broke and single (living alone with my son)
  • Being stalked by crazy abusive ex
  • Crappy job becomes hostile and no longer fun (leadership revolution)
  • My father died (a trip to Australia for the funeral out and back in less than five days)
  • Body goes into major, can't get away from myself, hyper flare up
  • Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia
  • Move to another state
  • Get well enough to work and take a great (but demanding) job in yet another state 
  • Work like a demon for 3 months with nights and weekends almost totally dedicated to rest and recovery - then laid off due to economic downturn
  • Get another job - get laid off again
  • Can't afford to live where I was working (California) so move to another state
  • Body flares like a new year's eve fireworks display
  • Lose health benefits
  • Can no longer effectively look for work in the US 
  • Need to get some medical care
  • Finally admit defeat
  • Move (a massive undertaking after 12 years in the US) home to Australia
  • Body continues to become increasingly uncooperative
Well here I am...  Now please don't think that there were no good things going on during this period of time because there were, not enough to outweigh the stadiums full of shit, but good stuff nevertheless.  However I am not, at this moment here to tell those stories...  I am telling you that I have been in a pretty bad way for the last few years.  Doctors who aren't helpful haven't helped (lol).

I'm middle aged, overweight (not ginormous but still more than I should be), I look hagged, prematurely grey, I'm having soooo much fun with FMS, and my self esteem is totally heading through the S bend to the sewage treatment works.  So I say to myself. "Displaced," I say, "You need to have a win!"

When I think back over the things that I have done in my life that have made me feel good about myself (aside from raising a wonderful kid) the first one is working. I have been really good at my job in a lot of different capacities.  At least for the moment that is off the table.  Secondly, I have had success writing - voila - for your edification and enjoyment I have started this blog.  Finally, I have had success as a student.

SOOOOO a couple of weeks ago I ambled my wobbly way into the University and I applied to do a Master of Dispute Resolution.  It is offered through the Law Faculty but is open to non-lawyers.

This evening I received an email telling me that my application has been accepted and I have been offered a place in the program.  It doesn't start until February.  I am really excited about it.  I figure if my body starts to cooperate better it would be a wonderful field (a growing field) in which I could make pretty good money while only working part time, I figure if I like law I might keep going and get a law degree when this one is done, I figure if I still like studying I might do a PhD, I figure I will meet interesting smart people (maybe even a lesbian woman - you never know your luck in the big city!), I figure I have everything to gain and nothing to lose... but best of all ...



  1. I just woke up, and my day is made already. :)

    It sounds like a wonderful opportunity that meet your needs in a number of ways. I just hope that you have the time and energy to keep blogging. ;-)

  2. Hey there Cane Girl! Thanks for the comment. I suspect that I will always blog now that I have discovered it. So many thoughts running through my head that want to be explored.
    Hope you day stays "made" !