Saturday, 16 November 2013

Who's looking at the moon?

Well, I haven't blogged for a few days for a couple of reasons; firstly because some of the things I said in an earlier blog upset TexLOML and so I needed to make an apology and a retraction; and secondly because I have been busier than a one legged bloke in an arse kicking competition! Wednesday was the day I got the keys for the new place and I tried to get the bulk of the moving done then with the much appreciated assistance of TexLOML's younger son (he's a bloody good kid!). I only had him after school so I was packing and moving smaller things until he got home. It was VERY sad and I was extremely upset. Aside from the projectile sweating I have developed since my hysterectomy a few months ago I was also leaking copious quantities of salty fluid from my eyes that day. None of this was helped by having woken up that morning with a cold (to add to the nausea I've been having for the last few weeks from some new meds.) All in all I was a leaking, damp, sweaty mess! (Am I turning you on yet? LOL). Thursday was more of the same with the added pleasure of screaming muscles and the subtracted dampness of buckets of tears.

On Friday morning I just couldn't do it any more. I had made a commitment to TexLOML's cousin (she and her husband are two of my favourite people on the island) to film her working with her new guide dog. An early rise was required (to get it done before it got too hot), and that accomplished, they took me out to breakfast. I had gorgeous Eggs Benedict but unfortunately couldn't keep it down so it was followed by an hour or so of wretched vomiting and another couple of hours of queasy. Oh my Herbert I hate being queasy!!! I felt so blah I popped into the medical centre and saw The Nurse. This was great because I had been having pity party paranoia that she wasn't going to be my friend any more and though we barely brushed anything personal I did feel reassured. It was also great cause she gave me something to relieve the nausea. I took it easy for the rest of Friday and even went to a friend's place to have a bath. It was glorious!!! She gave me some coconut bath salts that left me smelling like a pina colada! Thanks mate – if you're reading this!

That night was another friend's 40th birthday and there was a big “Drag Queen” party. Though I had considered frocking up for the occasion I ended up going as The Man In Black – Johnny Cash. Black jeans, black boots with silver studded boot keepers, big silver belt buckle, black silk shirt and a black leather vest. I had my black cowboy hat on but it was too damn hot so I left it in the truck. Unfortunately I don't have anywhere to leave Frizby at the moment. She had only been in the new house two nights, has been very confused and anxious because of all our recent moves, and her separation anxiety is galloping faster than Fiorente (the Melbourne Cup Winner). If I am in the shower she is on the bathmat, if I am in the toilet she is at my feet, she never ventures far from my side at the moment (if there was a seagull to chase she might manage to stretch the umbilical cord!) TexLOML has asked me not to leave her at her house any more so my choices are zip for the time being. I thought I would take her to the party and leave her in the truck but she cried and barked too much and so she ended up sitting at my feet on the outskirts of the party. I wasn't feeling all that good (just for a bloody change) and so I was very content to sit in the back blocks with Frizz and watch the weird sights parade past :) Although I left early it was a terrific party and I'm glad I got to be there for a while.

So today, still feeling like warmed over death, I set about editing the videos I had made the day before and then popped them off to cuz and her hubby. Frizzy was great with their guide dog (finally a dominant bitch who puts Frizzle right in her place without eating her) so that was a nice visit. Then I did some shopping and came home for a rest. One of the things I bought was a mop and so when I had cooled down in the cave (that is my front bedroom with the curtains drawn and the air con on) I tackled mopping the living room and wiping down the new dining chairs. Oh boy it really hadn't cooled down much and in no time I was wetter than the mop. Then after dinner, and a break, I took the Frizz to the beach for a walk right after dusk... hooley dooley what a moon! This kind of evening, this kind of sight, is what makes 'tropical paradise' paradise. The sea breeze was gentle and cool and the moon was glistening across the water like a carpet of lustrous pearls. Frizby was happy to be free and dashed away from me and back again over and over working off some energy and I felt a peace that has been absent for a while.

I nicked the pic but it does the trick.

I don't think people in my past have believed me when I told them I would love them forever. But I still do love them. Even some disastrous relationships with abusive or litigious partners were not without their redeeming features. There are things you love about a person and I don't really understand how that goes away. I know the 'in love' part goes, I know that anger can bury or conceal the 'love' part, but there is no one I have loved who didn't have lovable qualities. That sense just doesn't turn off for me. So I wondered where people were and who might also be looking at that glorious moon and I thought how very wonderful Herbert is for making such a thing ours for eternity. It's funny, a bit like love, my seeing and loving the moon doesn't take anything away from anyone else seeing it too – it's enforced sharing – it belongs to everyone and to no one – it is immeasurably valuable. We spend our lives looking for control but the moon is something that controls us... Our watery substance shifts with it like the tides and our souls are nourished by its glow. Frizz ran like a lunatic (by etymology, one affected by the moon) and I strolled like the typical little cancer moon child that I am.

More cleaning and sorting tomorrow and then more moving again on Monday!

I am getting there …. wherever 'there' is...


  1. Hope you're doing ok and settling into your new home? Hoping the move hasn't sent you into a downward spiral of pain and sickness? Sending positive vibes your way (funny it was the moon that made me think how you were but a much smaller cloudier one than that :))