Friday, 8 November 2013

MAJOR EDIT/ RETRACTION Good with the bad


It's a beautiful Saturday morning here in the tropics and I thought I might take this opportunity to update my blog!

Though Garrison Keillor would say “It was a quiet week in Lake Woebegon” I would say it has been an interesting week in paradise. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Actually my mother always said it's an ill wind that doesn't blow some good so I will start with something that has been both good and bad. I missed out on the unit I had chosen to apply for first. I needed them to accept $10 per week less in rent and they refused. The up side of this is that it set me free to make a confirmed decision that I would take the other one. So now I have a place to move into next Wednesday and I can begin (and have begun) my path towards making my home the way I want it to be.

The unit is large and cool and made of concrete blocks that feel safe in this tropical cyclone prone area. It has a big kitchen that actually has all the things one would expect to find in a real kitchen – like a stove, a sink and cupboards. 
The kitchen from the dining space.

Across living towards kitchen window
 This sounds basic but to be honest I have looked at many places that lack complete proper kitchens. Since this decision has been made I have acquired 8 second hand dining room chairs (from a garage sale) and a set of crockery and a quilt cover from a thrift shop.
The chairs look a bit like this are are really comfy!

The process of nesting has begun!

The bad news is that TexLOML and I had another disagreement – this time via text. I had to move from one place (where the owner was coming home from overseas) and being that the new place is not ready yet I needed to stay somewhere else for a week. It is my great good fortune (good news inside the bad) that I have a steady, dependable, caring friend who will not turn me away – the difficult part is that she has a cat and the Frizz is NOT good with pushy cats. So I sent TexLOML a text asking if I could stay the week at her house in the spare room and use the week to pack my stuff and she said no...  I asked, then, if Frizby could stay with TexLOML for the week and she said no (IN ACTUAL FACT SHE EXPRESSED A DESIRE NOT TO HAVE FRIZZY BUT DIDN'T ACTUALLY SAY "no" SHE PARTICULARLY ASKED THAT I TRY HAVING FRIZZY AT THE OTHER PLACE AND IF IT DIDN'T WORK WE COULD RECONSIDER)... Time for another suggestion … How about TexLOML stays with a friend and I stay at her house, pack and take care of both the dogs (this is what I did when I broke up with a girlfriend who needed to move out of my home many years ago – I stayed with my mum while she moved out)... No TexLOML is not going to stay anywhere else.  (TexLOML FOUND THIS SUGGESTION EXTREME AND UNREASONABLE - MY THEORY AT THE TIME WAS THAT IT MIGHT MAKE HER RECONSIDER ONE OF THE FIRST TWO SUGGESTIONS.)  At this point I was becoming quite upset and feeling angry that she won't take even a single step out of her way to make this easier for me so I discontinued the conversation. More good news amongst the bad is that a friend happened to be there just after this occurred and talked me through the emotions. She wisely said that pushing harder could only cause a major rift. This very definitely helped me to calm down and begin the process of letting go of my hurt and anger. There is just nothing to be achieved by fighting with TexLOML, no one would win (certainly not me) and as she pointed out in our last altercation this is a small island. – Too busy to dwell on my injured little feelings I needed to find a way to make staying with my cat owning friend acceptable.  (HERE I PROBABLY MISREPRESENTED AS THERE WAS A PLAN ALREADY SUGGESTED BY MY FRIEND THE POINT I WAS MAKING IS THAT HER PLAN WAS DIFFICULT FOR ME AS IT INVOLVED CARRYING MY LITTLE NUGGET  UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS TO AND FROM MY ROOM)  This we have done with a baby gate and my agreement that Frizzle will only be carried upstairs to the bedroom and won't invade the cat's space. So no thanks to TexLOML I do still have a roof over my head for this week.  (THIS STATEMENT IS INFLAMMATORY AND CAME FROM MY PLACE OF HURT AND ANGER AS THERE NEVER REALLY WAS A CHANCE THAT I DIDN'T HAVE SOMEWHERE TO STAY.)

More bad is that I haven't been able to sleep lately and anyone with FMS knows that lack of sleep contributes to a rather unpleasant cycle that results in nasty flare ups. I can't sleep → Increased anxiety and fatigue → Increased pain → Harder to sleep etc etc ad infinitum. So yesterday after three nights with less than 3 hours sleep I had to get up early to go across on the ferry to the mainland to see the Dept of Housing. Good news in the bad is that the appointment was less than an hour. Bad news again is that I had to stay all day in town (with nowhere to go and have a rest) because I was going to a function in town last night. I proceeded to spend the bulk of the day in furniture shops testing beds!!! I got to be horizontal (a desperate need for my body) and to exercise as well with all the sit-ups I did moving from one bed to another! I wasn't totally wasting the time of the sales staff because I do need to buy a new bed and I'm pretty certain that it is something I am going to make a significant investment in because I spend a LOT of time in bed.

The good news – I went to the function last night – it was a Trivia Night to raise money for the local Conservation Council and therefore was packed with wonderful, left/green minded people, some of whom I had met before and many of whom could be future friends for me. I sat at a table with four women I knew slightly and one I had just met and we had a great time! At one point I told the table that I had found a new place and when I told them which street it is on the couple I was sitting with exclaimed that they live in the same street. My steady cat-owning friend has also mentioned that there is a woman who lives in that street that she thinks I might get on with also so it might just be that I am heading into the perfect property!

More good news is that – through sheer exhaustion I had about 6 hours sleep last night and though I am far from refreshed it was a blessing from Herbert. Up early this morning and off to the garage sale where I bought the chairs.

There you go – progress is wonderful.

Just a small footnote – I had a comment on my last blog from a stranger on the other side of the world and she told me that my earlier blogs had helped her through the early stages of her illness. I went looking for a quote to express how that made me feel and was unable to find one so I made one up.

“Hearing I made a difference to you has made an enormous difference to me.”


  1. Hello again so glad that you have found a new nest (it looks huge!) and that you are finding a new path and friends in the area. I'm a bit shocked at how unsupportive TexLOML is being but your friend is right it is better just to leave that be (as hurtful as it is) and continue to move forwards on your journey. Again you are going through 2 of the biggest stressors of FMS (and life in general) with the break up and the move but as soon as you are settled that should hopefully resolve itself.
    I recently discovered a technique that can help massively with sleep/pain/anxiety/racing minds so would love to share it with's a breathing/counting exercise that is designed to 'confuse' the brain and move it away from racing patterns. When telling us about this at a pain mgmt workshop the 'creator' could see that I was concentrating too hard and trying to get it right (type A tendencies) and explained it's not a maths problem and if you start to go wrong or forget where you are in the sequence it means it's working... he calls it the 'heinz' technique as it involves the number 57
    Sit or lie, you can do this anywhere, and focus on your breathing
    When you get a relaxed in and out ryhthm, start to count
    On your IN breath count - 1
    On your OUT breath count - 57
    IN count - 2
    OUT count - 56
    IN - 3
    OUT - 55 and so on I even get confused writing it!
    You count forward and backward on each breath, if you lose track or forget a number simply start from the beginning again (I rarely get past 10/48?? without losing track so I repeat until sleep arrives, it really does work)
    Thank you for the mention in your post and you really did help so much when I first encountered you on the chronicbabe site. I was lost and confused as my life had changed so dramatically in 2010 literally over the space of a wknd and nobody could tell me why, I was finally diagnosed officially with CFS and Fibro last year, but you were the first person I encountered who could describe what I was going through not only physically but emotionally and for the first time I knew I wasn't alone, for that I thank you. You have a gift and I'm so glad you're blogging again as you're insight and honesty (about the good and bad), how you made such a major move in your life, went back to your studies all of it was inspiring. I totally sound like a stalker but know that what you write makes a difference to everyone who reads it, whether they comment or not so again thank you. Stay strong. Siobhán